Reshaping Love: Why Knowing the Groom Changes Our Desires
Many people accept Christ. They reject the misrepresentation of Him.
They are told that following Jesus means:
rules without relationship
obedience without affection
correction without compassion
So they walk away from a version of Him Scripture never presents.
The Bible does not introduce Christ first as a rule-giver. It introduces Him as a Bridegroom, a Father, a Redeemer, and a Protector.
Obedience does matter, but it was never meant to replace intimacy. It was meant to flow from it.
The Bride Perspective: Obedience as Covenant, Not Compliance
Scripture calls the Church the Bride and Christ the Groom. This is not a symbolic filler. It is covenant language.
A bride:
desires to know her groom
studies his heart, not just his expectations
adjusts her life not out of fear, but out of love
She does not ask, “What is the least I can do and still be married?”
She asks, “How can I honor him because I love him?”
This is the posture Jesus speaks to when He says:
“If you love Me, keep My commandments.”
— John 14:15 (NKJV)
Do you notice the order? Love comes first. Obedience follows.
Loving obedience does not diminish the bride; it forms her. It shapes her character, her desires, and her priorities.
Most people would say this is a form of restriction. I beg to differ. This is transformation.
The Child Perspective: Why Boundaries Are Love
God also reveals Himself as Father; this is very important.
A loving parent sets boundaries before a child understands danger. The child may think the boundary is limiting, unfair, or unnecessary.
But time reveals the truth:
the boundary was protection
the warning was love
the correction was care
When the child stumbles, the parent does not disown them. They pick them up.
Scripture confirms this posture:
“For whom the Lord loves He chastens and scourges every son whom He receives.”
— Hebrews 12:6 (NKJV)
Correction is not rejection. Discipline is not abandonment. Boundaries do not cancel love; they prove it.
This is how God parents His children.
The Reframe That Changes Everything
This is the shift many believers never experience:
The commands of God no longer feel restrictive, not because they disappear, but because love reshapes what we want.
Paul explains it plainly:
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”
— Romans 12:2 (NKJV)
Transformation changes desire, not just behavior. The message of Scripture is not:
“Stop sinning so God will love you.”
It is:
“God loves you, and that love changes what you desire.”
John reinforces this truth:
“For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome.”
— 1 John 5:3 (NKJV)
When love leads, obedience follows naturally. That is sanctification, clearly and biblically explained.
Application: What This Means Practically
If obedience feels heavy, it is not because God is harsh. It is because intimacy has been replaced with performance.
Ask yourself:
Am I trying to obey God to earn closeness or because I already have it?
Am I focused on avoiding failure or on knowing His heart?
Do I see God as a taskmaster or as a loving Father and faithful Groom?
Christian growth does not begin with behavior modification. It begins with relational clarity.
Reflection Questions
When you think of obedience, do you associate it more with fear or with love?
Have you ever viewed God’s boundaries as restrictions rather than protection?
In what areas might God be reshaping your desires rather than demanding instant change?
How would your walk with Christ look different if intimacy, not compliance, were your starting point?
Closing Prayer
Father God,
Thank You for loving us before we ever understood You. Forgive us for the times we reduced our relationship with You to rules instead of resting in Your love. Teach us to know Your heart, not just Your commands. Reshape our desires so that obedience flows naturally from intimacy with You. Help us walk as Your children and love You as the Bride loves her Groom.
In Jesus’ mighty name, Amen.
